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When I was young, I didn’t actually comprehend the real influence a role model has. I believed it was just a person you look up to from afar — perhaps a celebrity or an entrepreneur. But as the years went by, I came to understand that the individual you decide to look up to can quietly influence your mind, your principles, and even the course of your life. That’s why choosing a role model isn’t just a casual decision — it’s a powerful and sometimes life-changing one.
In this post, I’d like to speak to you personally on how to select the right role model wisely, what not to do, and how to make a speedy background check before you place someone on a pedestal. Whether you’re making your way through your career, personal life, or just want inspiration, here are 12 things to think about before you call anyone your role model.
1. They Embody the Traits You Highly Respect
Prior to selecting my own role models, I had to wonder: What type of person would I like to be? Honest? Hardworking? Empathetic? Innovative? These responses were my checklist.
Your perfect role model is someone who has the values and qualities you truly admire. If you respect honesty and generosity, don’t accept someone who’s infamous only for his or her extravagant lifestyle. For instance, a person like Malala Yousafzai could be an amazing female role model for little girls who respect courage and learning. Don’t look at what appears cool — look at what you feel comfortable doing in your heart.
2. They Have Actual Life Experience You Can Learn From
Experience makes a huge difference. I used to follow a very popular online coach simply because they had a huge following — and I later discovered that they actually had very little hands-on experience in the area I was interested in.
Your role model doesn’t necessarily have to be world-renowned, but they must have traversed the road you would like to travel. If you’re in business, pick someone who’s founded and grown a company. If you’re an artist, select someone who’s had their work showcased and broken through creative hurdles. Their path should be something you can learn from, not simply something you admire.
3. They’re Not Just “Talk” – They Lead by Example
Actions always speak louder than words. I personally prefer role models who walk the talk. It’s easy to give motivational speeches and post inspirational quotes, but are they living their values day-to-day?
If you’re looking for a female role model, someone like Serena Williams comes to mind. She doesn’t just say women should be strong — she lives it on and off the court. Whether it’s in their work ethic, personal struggles, or how they treat others, a strong role model should live the values they promote.
4. They Encourage Independent Thinking, Not Blind Following
The greatest role models don’t want you to be their carbon copy. They want you to develop your own unique version of success.
This was a huge lesson for me — my role model made me look at things in a different way but never forced me to think just like them. That sort of influence builds confidence, not reliance. If your role model stifles questions or criticism, take that as a warning sign. That’s an indication of a poor role model, not a good one.
5. They Have a Clean Track Record (Do a Background Check!)
Let’s discuss the elephant in the room: not everybody who appears commendable is actually good behind the scenes. This is why I highly suggest conducting a background check before fully accepting somebody as a person to look upon.
That’s not to say you pry into their private life, but research into their work history, values, public conduct, and treatment of others. In the event that someone you respect has engaged in scamming or unethical business, reconsider. Consider the fact that integrity counts as much as success.
6. They’re Transparent About Their Failures and Struggles
One of the things that made me admire my role model more was the way they openly expressed their failures. They did not act like everything was okay. They demonstrated how setbacks determined their development, and that is what made them genuine.
A good role model also introduces you to the messy bits — the business setbacks, the rejection letters, the nights spent doubting yourself. That authenticity builds a real connection and shows that success is not always a linear thing.
7. They Inspire Action, Not Just Daydreaming
Ever followed someone who made you feel motivated but not act on anything? I’ve been there. Real role models don’t just pump you up — they push you to act.
When I read a blog post or view a video by my inspiration, I feel compelled to do something, be it writing, planning, or practicing a new skill. That’s the mark of someone truly inspiring. They make you change ideas into action.
8. They Make You Want to Be a Better Version of Yourself
One of the best signs that a person is the ideal role model for you is easy: they make you want to get bigger.
Each time I hear about individuals like Elon Musk or Oprah Winfrey, I don’t only look up to what they’ve accomplished — I get this passion within me to improve, work harder, and progress more. That’s the impact a good role model needs to have. They challenge you — not with criticism, but with motivation.
9. They’re Still Learning Themselves
Lifelong learners are the best persons to follow. They confess when they are wrong. They change. They develop.
Perfection isn’t the issue — it’s progress. If your role model is pretending to know everything or won’t adapt, you could be looking at a bad role model who’s in ego. Pick someone humble enough to learn and transform.
10. They Align with Your Long-Term Goals
Consider where you would like to be in 5, 10, or 20 years. Now you should ask yourself: Will this person’s story help lead me there?
For instance, if I’m looking to be a successful writer, being a YouTuber who discusses tech may not be the most effective use of my attention. Your inspiration doesn’t necessarily have to mirror every aspect of your life, but their journey needs to partially go in the direction of your aspirations.
11. They Encourage Balance – Not Burnout
One error I made in the past was listening to a person who romanticized hustle culture 24/7. It left me believing that I was never doing enough.
A good role model has a sense of how important rest, relationships, and self-care are. Whatever their field of endeavor — business, sport, the arts — they recognize that there’s more to life than just goal attainment — there’s the quality of your route as well. They establish a well-balanced example that fosters your mental and physical well-being.
12. They’re Open-Minded and Inclusive
We inhabit a wonderfully diverse world. If you do not have someone that you would like to emulate, particularly among female role models, look for those who inspire others no matter what race, gender, or background.
Being open-minded to new experiences, cultures, and ideas is a quality that will get you far in life. And having a role model who manifests this can lead you toward a more inclusive and compassionate way of thinking — something I think we all could do with more of.
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Final Thoughts:
Selecting a role model isn’t about the pursuit of fame, likes, or trends. It’s about discovering someone whose life, values, and energy are headed in the direction you want to be headed. So be patient. Do your due diligence. Be wary of bad role models. And most importantly — ensure that the person you pick makes you better.
And don’t forget, it’s alright to switch role models as you mature. I’ve done it more than once. Just like our aspirations change, so too should the people we admire.
The good role model can push you towards greatness. The bad one will lead you astray. So choose wisely — your future self will be grateful
